She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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