dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
