my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
