I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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