I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize