it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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