She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I understand Curling. That high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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