You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
