This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
