The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
operation have a gay friend backfired
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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