OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
