This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
