Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
