Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
