I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
