hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i came on her dog
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
