why didn't you poke me back
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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