I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
