she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
