I'm so fucking centered right now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
