doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
