So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
