Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
