You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
