I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
