He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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