The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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