I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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