What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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