Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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