I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
