Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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