she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was not drunk enough for that final.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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