He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize