He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she peed on how many people?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
