I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
