it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
