sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
