Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
