i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.