Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
