Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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  (512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37
  Replies (20) Good night (898) Bad night (2465)
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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6760) Bad night (1469)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

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  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3694) Bad night (669)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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  (678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi
  Replies (7) Good night (2222) Bad night (1104)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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  (913): i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us http://tfl.nu/7y99
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...

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  (503): Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out... http://tfl.nu/v7xz
  Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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  (904): I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee http://tfl.nu/enfq
  Replies (18) Good night (804) Bad night (1702)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (890) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"

  (1-914): View more from New York

  New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak

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  (914): Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits" (1-914): New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak http://tfl.nu/prur
  Replies (8) Good night (1302) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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  (627): Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time. http://tfl.nu/xynl
  Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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  (520): Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties. http://tfl.nu/5b50
  Replies (2) Good night (1075) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I went on an adventure and now we have more food.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.

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  (360): I went on an adventure and now we have more food. (360): Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible. http://tfl.nu/3w1h
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.

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  (770): Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all. http://tfl.nu/kjla
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.

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  (928): I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood. http://tfl.nu/znrl
  Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.

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  (516): If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner. http://tfl.nu/amlb
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (143)

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