Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

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  (904): Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/h1b1
  Replies (18) Good night (5815) Bad night (1303)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.

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  (786): hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night. http://tfl.nu/2z1d
  Replies (8) Good night (4981) Bad night (1457)
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  (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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  (607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su
  Replies (7) Good night (2941) Bad night (809)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1072) Bad night (3171)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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  (917): we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability http://tfl.nu/xeg6
  Replies (1) Good night (2232) Bad night (815)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.

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  (603): sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/wnvk
  Replies (8) Good night (984) Bad night (4289)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets

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  (954): I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets http://tfl.nu/eeot
  Replies (10) Good night (1218) Bad night (4095)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz

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  (401): Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz http://tfl.nu/2w6v
  Replies (20) Good night (2974) Bad night (992)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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  (317): We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo http://tfl.nu/qbn3
  Replies (14) Good night (823) Bad night (1778)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.

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  (480): His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it. http://tfl.nu/pwa8
  Replies (15) Good night (735) Bad night (3482)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Lmao sorry

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  (609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80
  Replies (2) Good night (2042) Bad night (678)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (445)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

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  (313): Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye. http://tfl.nu/jiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (362)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

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  (570): woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today http://tfl.nu/g1oy
  Replies (1) Good night (933) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  this is why i love drunk you

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  (520): Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI (1-520): this is why i love drunk you http://tfl.nu/owbm
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (256)

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