Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
