I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night