Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

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  (313): Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch. http://tfl.nu/eota
  Replies (14) Good night (800) Bad night (3223)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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  (214): A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all http://tfl.nu/e59p
  Replies (26) Good night (4938) Bad night (960)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.

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  (541): he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married. http://tfl.nu/sari
  Replies (27) Good night (817) Bad night (5339)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (14998) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes

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  (818): we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes http://tfl.nu/3vzd
  Replies (4) Good night (774) Bad night (3710)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you

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  (425): if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you http://tfl.nu/ohu0
  Replies (13) Good night (5422) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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  (416): he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup http://tfl.nu/u0xy
  Replies (20) Good night (1522) Bad night (5325)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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  (516): Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back. http://tfl.nu/h2g1
  Replies (26) Good night (9194) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

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  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5685) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.

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  (202): I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/7w7n
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (1351)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!

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  (714): I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!! http://tfl.nu/1fo4
  Replies (7) Good night (419) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.

  (425): View more from Washington

  I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.

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  (707): Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning. (425): I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation. http://tfl.nu/7xvm
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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  (931): All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt . http://tfl.nu/vyqq
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.

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  (407): you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest. http://tfl.nu/qs4v
  Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..

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  (+45): I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love".. http://tfl.nu/xnfz
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (242)

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