First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him