He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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