Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
