Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
