Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
