Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
