I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
