I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
