I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
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I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize