Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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