the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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