based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize