dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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