I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
