I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
