i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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