im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize