i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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