so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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