it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
