So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
